I’m 21 Years old turning 13…

I need to remind myself to patient. My anger will go from a maximum 100 pissed off to a low 5 mildly uncomfortable…..

And it’s thanks to my room.

My room is a mixture of One Direction posters, bright colored bras on the floor accompanied by semester text books I’ve rented from Amazon.

And in the midst of this mess my favorite lip gloss tends to disappear along with my make up pomegranate face wipes….

My bed is the most comfortable thing in the world, that is if you’re not sharing it. Nonetheless, that is not the case in my life.

On my bed you will find a fat plush giraffe the size of a well fed three year old child, a Japanese stuffed animal cat, a moose, two build-a-bears, a stuffed animal owl/pillow and oh yeah a 5ft 5, 13 year old girl.

That is the problem I am facing today.
My room sounds like a 13 year old’s cave in which she invites her other 13 year old humans who come and perform rituals on Zayn Malik’s face.

All I’m saying here is that I am extremely thankful I have a room to call my own…kind of, and that I have a roof over my head.

But sharing my room, and my bed with my 13 year old sister has become problematic, I’m not sure how much longer I can take another punch in the face by my sleeping sister, or another song by 5 Seconds of Summer….

I really wish I had a place of my own.

Relax, You’re Okay. Just Breath.

It’s 2am, and I’m not quite sure why I’m on here writing instead of sleeping; but as soon as I was getting myself ready for bed, I found myself extremely tired, yet wide awake. I just have too many things on my mind, don’t we all. I often wonder, just how much can we take on, how many roles can we take on before we explode into a million tiny pieces of stress?

I would tell you to get out a sheet of paper, and begin to write down all your stressful things, but honestly I feel like that would probably cause us all a mental break down. The thing is, I am certain I’m feeling stressed but I’m not exactly sure why, I’m don’t know what’s causing my brain to be up this late…but something certainly is bothering me. Perhaps it’s my Summer finals, or something deeper than that. Who knows. But I, like probably most of you, have come to realize that stress will always be there, whether it’s due to our romantic relationships, our doubt in religion, our GPA’s, our future, whatever, it’s going to be there. In fact if it is not there, society will create stress for you. You’re not thin enough, you’re not beautiful enough, you’re not smart enough, or our weather is changing, animals are dying, people are dying, Gaza is dying (Allah help them). Stress is there, we create stress, it’s as if we need stress; and it ranges between minimal to extreme…

Wouldn’t it just be nice if we could stop time when we are feeling too overwhelmed?
I like to pretend I can by closing my eyes, even for a minute, just to breath in between all the chaos.

I wish I could offer you all a piece of advice on stress but to be honest, I need some advice too. Recently I’ve been using one piece of advice my fathers Iraq war veteran (from the Iraqi side) friend told us:

If there’s a problem, and there’s a solution…then don’t worry about it.
If there’s a problem, and there is no solution…then don’t worry about it.

Read it twice, I promise it makes sense. I feel like so often do we have stress, and continue to add more stress to our stress by worrying about more little things we really should not be worried about, for example, preparing a mid-term paper and as soon as you turn it in, realizing you forgot a comma, and now you’re stressed because if the comma…
In other words we add stress that we don’t really need to begin with. So here’s the part where I try to help you fellow stressed friends. Yes, I lied, I will actually suggest you write down a list of the things you’re mostly stressed about, and if there is a solution, write it down, if there isn’t, write it down.

via tumblr.com

via tumblr.com

I’m not saying it will help you de-stress, but it will put your thoughts into perspective and maybe even help you understand why you’re stressed about that certain stressful thing and possibly even lead to some personal realizations. It’s not supposed to look like a to do list, it’s supposed to look like your real stressful problems, and your feelings towards them and how you can find a solution for them and learn more about yourself.

The last piece of advice that I can offer is be good to yourself, do not stress when you do not have to and hopefully this list will help you realize how many silly things there are that we stress about and really shouldn’t. Treat yourself good, if you wish you could enjoy a couple hours of relaxation in the morning, to comfortably enjoy your coffee then do it, wake up early and do it, for yourself. You deserve it.

Goodluck friends, feel free to reply to this, or to send me your lists, I’ll gladly share mine upon requests, any questions feel free to message me through here, or my e-mail: salmayazmine@gmail.com

Breath in. You can do this.

P.S I am quite late in changing up the banner for this week’s Girl’s Doin’ Art, and I am also late on some posts I’ve been working on for the Fat Diaries, I promise I’ll be back after finals. Thank you to the few who have shown support for my brand new little blog, it means a lot!

 

10 Tips for a Lasting Relationship

  “Relationships are mysterious. We doubt the positive qualities in others, seldom the negative. You will say to your partner: do you really love me? Are you sure you love me? You will ask this a dozen times and drive the person nuts. But you never ask: are you really mad at me? Are you sure you’re angry? When someone is angry, you don’t doubt it for a moment. Yet the reverse should be true. We should doubt the negative in life, and have faith in the positive.” -Christopher Pike, Remember Me

I really don’t have any 10 signs that will help you keep your relationship; but look at how the title intrigued you, so many times do we doubt our romantic relationship with our significant other, so we begin to do little silly or not so silly things. We start paying more attention to magazines who seem to know more about our own personal relationships than we do. We begin to listen to our friends, moms, aunts, uncles, grandparents….

A good relationship consists of …….

And the list goes on. But what really keeps a relationship going? How do we know if our significant other is currently happy with us? I’m not sure about you all, but all the advice offered on relationships from magazines, to family and friends to online websites, make things feel as if they are worse than what I thought they where.

I don’t think we are ever able to know if our relationship is on its way to the death bed, unless there are extreme situations (i.e cheating, violence, etc) but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a relationship in which time begins to take a toll on both us. Where it’s been a year and that spark of a brand new relationship begins to diminish, and now you’re left with two people, who seem to love each other but no longer really know what to do with it. What happens then? How do you keep a spark alive? It seems that when two people so badly wish to continue to be together, it is worth to find that spark again. Then again, it could always be just one of us who’s spark has left her/him.

 

Illustration by Paul Blow

A relationship is so sensitive. I often find myself awake when I should be asleep, thinking if it will last. I know I’m happy but is he? Does he still find me pretty? Does he still love it when I wear my hair in a bun? Is it still cute when i wear big sweaters with my glasses? I often wonder if my smile still cheers him up, the way his smile cheers me up. I wonder if I am ever in his future plans anymore, like I was before, even if it was just for fun. I wonder if we go out now for the sake of going out, or because he still wants to hear about my day. Regardless, through this one very happy year of mine, I’ve come to learn a lot about relationships, wanting to take care of someone, wanting to keep this person happy, being there through his hardships, helping him with anything I can has taught me that relationships are random, they’re uncalled for, and completely unpredictable. Trying to figure out if whether we’ll stay together or not, is just not worth our time. Instead, we should take everyday as is, and let everything fall in it’s place as it should.

 

EXTRAS: Trouble Sleeping by Corinne Bailey Rae