10 Tips for a Lasting Relationship

  “Relationships are mysterious. We doubt the positive qualities in others, seldom the negative. You will say to your partner: do you really love me? Are you sure you love me? You will ask this a dozen times and drive the person nuts. But you never ask: are you really mad at me? Are you sure you’re angry? When someone is angry, you don’t doubt it for a moment. Yet the reverse should be true. We should doubt the negative in life, and have faith in the positive.” -Christopher Pike, Remember Me

I really don’t have any 10 signs that will help you keep your relationship; but look at how the title intrigued you, so many times do we doubt our romantic relationship with our significant other, so we begin to do little silly or not so silly things. We start paying more attention to magazines who seem to know more about our own personal relationships than we do. We begin to listen to our friends, moms, aunts, uncles, grandparents….

A good relationship consists of …….

And the list goes on. But what really keeps a relationship going? How do we know if our significant other is currently happy with us? I’m not sure about you all, but all the advice offered on relationships from magazines, to family and friends to online websites, make things feel as if they are worse than what I thought they where.

I don’t think we are ever able to know if our relationship is on its way to the death bed, unless there are extreme situations (i.e cheating, violence, etc) but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a relationship in which time begins to take a toll on both us. Where it’s been a year and that spark of a brand new relationship begins to diminish, and now you’re left with two people, who seem to love each other but no longer really know what to do with it. What happens then? How do you keep a spark alive? It seems that when two people so badly wish to continue to be together, it is worth to find that spark again. Then again, it could always be just one of us who’s spark has left her/him.

 

Illustration by Paul Blow

A relationship is so sensitive. I often find myself awake when I should be asleep, thinking if it will last. I know I’m happy but is he? Does he still find me pretty? Does he still love it when I wear my hair in a bun? Is it still cute when i wear big sweaters with my glasses? I often wonder if my smile still cheers him up, the way his smile cheers me up. I wonder if I am ever in his future plans anymore, like I was before, even if it was just for fun. I wonder if we go out now for the sake of going out, or because he still wants to hear about my day. Regardless, through this one very happy year of mine, I’ve come to learn a lot about relationships, wanting to take care of someone, wanting to keep this person happy, being there through his hardships, helping him with anything I can has taught me that relationships are random, they’re uncalled for, and completely unpredictable. Trying to figure out if whether we’ll stay together or not, is just not worth our time. Instead, we should take everyday as is, and let everything fall in it’s place as it should.

 

EXTRAS: Trouble Sleeping by Corinne Bailey Rae

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